Last month marked the 26th anniversary of my mother’s death. I’d not been feeling sad, but I’d been aware of a sense of loss, an emptiness. Even after all these years, I still think about calling her and talking with her about the silly things we used to share.

In the midst of this reflection, a client asked about how grief changes over time – or if it does. She is about to experience the first anniversary of her mother’s death and some days the grief hits her hard. Her husband keeps asking her when she’s going to get over it. She wondered if her grieving was normal “after all this time.”

There is no timeline

It’s been my experience that there is no timeline for ‘getting over’ grief – it’s not something we need to get over. It shifts and morphs. It can go underground and then show up unexpectedly, seemingly for no reason.

Anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, and such often bring up memories that might trigger a renewed sense of grief, a pang of loss and emptiness.

What I do know is that it’s important to be compassionate with ourselves when we experience grief and sadness. Everyone does grief (any kind of grief) differently and there’s no right way. You can’t do it wrong. (imagine that!)

Grieving comes in many forms

And just another thing about grieving that we don’t talk about often: we can experience grief over a variety of losses – loved ones, certainly. Relationships that come to an end. But the loss of a dream, a project that falls apart, hopes dashed, loss of our physical vitality (or even our looks) as we age, may cause a sense of grief. No matter what the situation, self-compassion, kindness, and patience help us move through the process with more ease and grace.

This exploration with my client felt like an invitation to offer a special on Soul Spas, for those whose hearts and souls might be hurting. Please see the offer below.

Peace to your heart and passion to your purpose,

Kamala